


Arizona

by bluerosebouquet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x07 coda, Angst, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Sad Ending, it's a breakup fic sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:55:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21690289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerosebouquet/pseuds/bluerosebouquet
Summary: Arizona promises freedom.  Arizona promises everything. 15x07 coda.
Relationships: Lee Webb/Dean Winchester, Leo Webb/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 60





	Arizona

Arizona is probably always hot, but in the middle of the summer, when all there is are rough hewn mountains in the distance and heat-baked, deadened shrubs and rocks and sand and cacti dotting the landscape, it was like hell on earth. But fortunately for Dean and Lee, hell on earth is a small price to pay for freedom to hunt on their own. 

Dean doesn’t even know what they’re hunting. Lee had said there was something in this area, some creature was tearing its vics to shreds, and so he and Dean had hopped in Lee’s shitty pickup truck, telling John that they would meet him in Grand Junction in two weeks.

They drive with the windows down, mostly because Lee’s truck didn’t have any air conditioning, but the breeze on the highway was nice, with nothing but blue sky and cracked grey asphalt in front of them. They sing through every cassette tape Lee has, until their throats are raw from singing and laughing.

The heat sears their necks as they walk from the truck to their shitty hotel room, paid for with hustled pool money, collapsing on the beds and turning the little AC unit so low that it rattled persistently, liable to break at any second.

“I don’t want to leave this room,” Dean sighs, sprawled out on the bed with his shirt hiked up, the hot skin of his back resting on the cool duvet.

“Then how’re we gonna catch this fucker?” Lee asks, staring at him from in front of the TV, where he’s trying his damndest to get the thing to find a non-staticy channel.

“We’ll have to be like wolves, only hunt at night.”

“Where’d you learn your predators? Wolves don’t only hunt at night, idiot.”

“Only the cool ones do.”

Lee laughs at that, and Dean grins, letting his eyes close and his head drop back onto the bed. It had been a long run from Wyoming, the Tetons still etched in his mind. He and Lee would have to go back there someday, not to hunt, but just to see the mountains, maybe hike them, reach the peak of one of them, stand on top of the world for a minute.

“We takin the night off or what?”

Dean’s eyes open and Lee is standing over him, having given up on their lost cause of a TV, static still buzzing from the tiny screen.

“Got a dud there?”

“Eh, I guess, I got nothing else to give her, she won’t even give me the news.”

“Like you’d watch the news, anyway.”

“I’d rather watch you.”

And Lee has that look on his face, the one that’s soft but hungry, telling Dean what he wants but never pressuring him into it, just like the first night, that night when they were hunting on their own, and had forgotten the monster to get shitfaced, John mercifully catching them when their clothes were on, throwing all their hard-earned whiskey down the drain, but never erasing that night from Dean’s mind. 

He reaches up and balls his fist in Lee’s t-shirt, pulling him down on top of him, and they don’t think about the monster for a while.

They still don’t know the name of the thing they’re hunting, but they think they know what kills it, simple enough, they think. They stock up on gasoline at the little hardware store on the corner, the old man giving them judgemental eyes the second they walk in the door. They ignore him, instead they find themselves giggling, Dean putting Lee in a headlock when Lee points out the hickies on his neck.

Staking out the thing’s lair is where it becomes more complicated, because it’s not a lair, it’s a house. With a family inside. And they know that going in too soon is good for nothing but a bail-out call to John and six hours of screaming at them in the car. So they wait in Lee’s truck, listening to the same cassette tape over and over, humming along in spite of themselves, the music carrying them away, carrying them too far away, so they’re in the back of the truck before they know it, completely forgetting about the creature and the innocent family inside.

It was a mistake. By the time they kick the door in, the family is shredded, and the creature is curled up on the floor, stomach full to bursting. Dean cries when he sees the children’s shoes on the floor, because this is their fault, this is all their fault.

They burn the thing, because that’s what their supposed to do, and they make a pact to never tell John what happened. The hotel doesn’t seem as welcoming anymore, with mussed sheets and empty condom wrappers nothing but a reminder of what they had just caused. Lee stands in the doorway, hands against the frame, refusing to take a step into the room.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Dean.”

“What do you mean?”

“That one. What we found, what that thing did, those kids, man. I, I think I need a break.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s take a break then. I’ll call dad, tell him we’ll meet him at the next stop.”

Lee looks at the ground, the smile on his face more sad than anything else, and Dean’s head knows what’s coming, but his heart hasn’t caught up yet.

“I think it just needs to be me. I need some time.”

Dean stops breathing.

“Away from me?”

Lee sighs, looking away from Dean, when normally he couldn’t look away.

“I guess.”

“What am I supposed to do without you?”

Lee still won’t look at him, even though Dean is fighting to meet his eyes, because if they just locked eyes, if they just saw each other, Dean could convince Lee to not do this. Don’t do this. Don’t do this.

Don’t do this.

“I’m sorry.”

Lee leaves Dean to hitchhike to Grand Junction, and he leaves the sun-baked earth behind him, pressing his face to the window of the truck he’s in, half hoping he’ll see Lee’s truck pull up next to them, that this is all a dream, that it isn’t real. Because it can’t be real.

John sees the look on Dean’s face when he gets to their meeting place, and he doesn’t ask questions. They move on, erasing Lee Webb from John’s contacts. Dean never mentions him again, because some loves like that are just too painful to lose, and even more painful to think of later. 

In the years that followed, Dean only allowed himself to think about Lee in the dead of night, when John was off drunk somewhere, when Sam was dead asleep, or when he was alone in the Bunker. He would think of his too long hair in his face, his clear blue eyes, the way he sounded when he cracked a high note in a song, how his lips felt against Dean’s. These thoughts would only deepen the ache, but the ache made him feel alive, reminded him of his biggest mistake and his biggest regret.

Lee Webb’s eyes never left him, not for the rest of his life, and every time he sang too loud in the car, it was almost like he was there with him, hot wind hitting their faces, Arizona promising freedom, promising everything.

**Author's Note:**

> This is really sad lol  
> Just a whole LOT to unpack in that episode, I completely adore it and Dean is bi as hell  
> Thank you for reading!! <3


End file.
